The steps are like a medicine most of us won’t bother to take, although we know they can heal us of the sickness of desperation, frustration, resentment and self-pity. Why is this? Because we have a deep rooted desire for martyrdom. ODAT 96

If we really we want peace of mind the first thing to realize is that it does not depend on conditions outside us

This is a surprisingly hard assignment for many of us. Some relish their so much that everything that happens is ballooned to enormous proportions in the re-living and re-telling. Self-pitiers are difficult to wean away from their martyrdom until the joys of serenity and contentment dawn on them in Al Anon.